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My twin sister Jackie and I were placed for adoption in 1970 through Lutheran Child and Family Services in Illinois. As was typical at the time, ours was a closed adoption. It remained closed until 2008 when I needed a family medical history. I had never planned to find my birth family. While, at various points in our childhood, my sister and I wondered aloud about the woman who gave birth to us, our wonderings stayed as that. Perhaps because I grew up with a biological other, I never felt the compulsion to find my birth family that many adoptees do. I never felt as if part of myself was missing.

At the end of the summer of 2008, I contacted the Confidential Intermediary Service of Illinois. By early 2009, I knew the part of myself that I never thought I would know. Our birth parents were alive and well, and married, living now in Colorado.  Less than a year after my sister and I were adopted, our birth mother had a son, our full biological brother, who lives in the same town in Colorado as his parents do.

In July 2009, my sister and I met our biological brother for the first time, and in September of that year, I also met my birth parents for the first time.  In August 2011, my sister and I introduced our mother to our birthparents in the lobby of a hotel in Valparaiso, Indiana, steps from the university my birth mother had attended, along with two friends who later became my parents’ caseworkers at Lutheran Child and Family Services.  I traveled to my birth parent’s home in Colorado in February 2012 and saw them again in April of that year while I was in Denver for an adoption conference.  In August 2012, my sister and I journeyed to North Dakota, to the family farm where my birth mother grew up.  That was the last time we saw one another.

But the journey continues.



3 Comments leave one →
  1. October 18, 2012 7:43 pm

    We nominated your blog for The One Lovely Blog Award. Go here to read about it: We love your memoir writing!

  2. March 17, 2010 6:02 am

    Jenny, it’s past midnight and I can’t stop reading all your fascinating stories! You have your reader “in the palm of your hand”! I tried to send you my comments and had a lengthy page of them, only to have them “lost” since I hadn’t put my name on before I hit the “Submit” button! So, rather than retype and possibly lose them again, let me know, please, if you receive this, and I’ll send more! Thanks


  1. For National Adoption Month, we read Forever Mom: What To Expect When You’re Adopting | For National Adoption Month, we read Forever Mom: What To Expect When You’re Adopting | Social Dashboard

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